"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
