He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
