i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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