I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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