well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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