Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
