your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
