yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
