dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
