yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
