so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
