Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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