i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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