We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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