So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
