I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
