porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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