dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
