like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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