Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
