i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
