Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
