So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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