And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
