is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
