Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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