No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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