I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize