Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
