I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
