I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
