I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
