Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
