i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize