i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
