apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
