There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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