I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize