Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry about my life...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
