you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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