Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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