in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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