When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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