Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We left the knife in your bed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
