I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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