so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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