im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
