I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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