Kiss
Puke
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
