I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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