btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize