He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
