highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
