You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
