That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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