My Higher Power is John Stamos
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just found a bag of teeth...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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