I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
