It's Friday. Sex?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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