I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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